Transform your narrative to transform your speaking performance

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Transform your narrative to transform your speaking performance

Public speaking can be stressful. It’s part the reason ¾ of the population have a fear of public speaking. Even when you overcome that fear and you can speak well, you still find it stressful. And sometimes speaking in front of a group of people can feel impossible.

When it comes to many things in life, you feel like you can’t do something that in your heads just seems impossible. It might be imposter syndrome, you might be doing something for the first time, or you may have had a negative experience in the past. The narrative you tell yourself can be your greatest asset, but also your biggest downfall.

You might find in the build up to public speaking you have a negative narrative about the presentation you are about to give.

A story of opportunity

“This is stressful.” “I can’t do it.” “What if I fail?” – it is a story of limitation.

When you hold this narrative, you make it harder for yourself to successfully deliver to the best of your ability. You are being bound by limitations, about what could go wrong. What if instead your story was one of opportunity?

“I can do this.” “This is my opportunity to show what I can do.” “This is a challenge I can overcome.”

The approach is completely different. It is a shift of focus from your weaknesses to your strengths. A shift from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’. A shift from overwhelmed to in control. Removing the negative narrative and focusing on the positives will reduce the anxiety going into speaking in public.

It would be wrong to suggest it is as simple as just switching from one narrative to the other but trying to focus on the positives can help. Is there a particular bit of your presentation you love speaking about? Focus on making your narrative how much you are looking forward to that part of your presentation. Over time you will grow to tune out your negative outlook on public speaking.

Don’t listen to yourself (or your expectations)

Part of the struggle in changing to a positive outlook on speaking is the fact you are your harshest critic. Have you ever been in a situation where someone gave you a compliment on your work, but you felt it was unnecessary because it is a thing everyone does? Or where you have played down your involvement in something because you felt your role was insignificant? Most people have been there, and usually you are just being hard on yourself.

The expectations you hold for yourself is higher than you do for others. You often strive for perfection, or a standard that does not exist, which means that, in your own minds, you cannot succeed, or we never quite hit the mark. You are setting yourself up for a ‘failure’ that doesn’t really exist.

Let go of these expectations and give yourself some wiggle room. If someone says it went well, or that what you said resonated with them, do not downplay it – take that as a sign of success.

The narrative of your limitations

The narrative of your own limitations loves the fact you are your harshest critic. It feeds that narrative of ‘never quite enough’. When you next critique yourself after speaking, ask whether or not you would say that to somebody else as feedback. If you wouldn’t, then it is just you being your harshest critic and you shouldn’t take that feedback seriously. Give yourself some slack. 

The negative outlook you may have on public speaking might come from previous negative experiences. This can make it more challenging to create a positive speaking narrative, but it is still possible.

When I had a fear of public speaking my limitations were greater than they are now. Limitations are not forever boundaries. As you grow and become more comfortable and confident your limitations fade away because you push through them. You will get stuck if you maintain the narrative of those limitations. But you don’t need to get stuck, you need to take action and practice speaking in public. Build a comfortable environment to start, and get your reps in.

Actionable takeaways

• Reframe public speaking in your mind from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’. This takes time but the more you tell yourself you can the better your speaking reps will be.

• Let your expectations go. Expectations should be based on your experience so far, not where you want to be. Expecting level 50 results when you are at level 1 is unrealistic - you are creating a bad experience for yourself.

• Drop the narrative of your own limitations. As you grow you shatter your limitations. Rather than seeing them as limitations, see them as a milestone you can work towards.

That's all for today!

As always feel free to reply to this email or reach out @liamsandford as I would love to hear your feedback.

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Liam Sandford

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